Thursday, July 06, 2006

Think Globaly, Drink Locally?


Al Gore wouldn't like Hennepin Lake Liquors, and I don't like it either. First off, they don't take credit cards. It's 2006, and they act like it's 1969. Checks are okay. Of course. Like I carry those around.

Secondly, they close at 8pm on weekdays. The laws changed recently to allow liquor stores to stay open until 10pm, so why doesn't this liquor store stay open for a couple more hours? You'd think they'd increase their profits. I went to the door yesterday at 8:10, looked inside, and practically got scolded by the cashier for even attempting to try the door.

Which brings me to Al Gore. I'm not going to go on and on about why everyone should see An Inconvenient Truth, but surely people can relate to the absurdity of having to get in your car and burn precious fossil fuels to get a six pack of beer when you live right in the heart of your city. Nightclubs are pumping. 20-something's are everywhere. But I can't take home some beer. It's absurd. It's the equivalent of restaurants closing at 7pm. Sorry folks, you didn't hear the dinner bell at 5:30, I guess you don't get to eat. Or, well I guess you can eat here, but don't even think about taking that food home.

I hate liquor laws to begin with, but this is ridiculous. I've left 6-packs of 3.2 beer at convenience store counters when I suddenly realize where I live and what laws we're dealing with. And it's not like I'm an alcoholic. We're talking one beer, but damn it, I wanted that beer. And I wanted it at home, at full strength, and not sitting in some bar. I can't pet my cat and read a book at a bar. It just doesn't work like that.

Well, goodbye Hennepin Lake. I guess I'll just have to add liquor stores to my big grocery/Target shopping trips. Those days when fossil fuels burn aplenty in the name of focused consumerism, and my patience isn't tested by some backwards liquor store refusing to sell me my Negra Modelo on a hot summer night when man and womankind should be entitled to beer by birth alone. Much less by turning that magical, but otherwise meaningless age of 21.

A special shout out goes to my good friends at Hums. We'll be seeing more of each other. See, they get it. And now they're getting me. And I'm getting my Negra Modelo. With a lime. You can't beat on a hot summer night around 9 o'clock. Trust me, it's worth fighting for.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Problem is most American cities were built during a time when gasoline was abundantly available. Now, as the supplies diminish what are we supposed to do? Redesign every American city. In my world I can walk to get a six pack, but most of America has to drive. It's just a fact. America needs an electric car. That's the solution.

You ever been to Dallas? Talk about crazy, people drive everywhere. No one walks. Sidewalks are there for appearance alone. Go across the street. Drive. Go to the corner store. Drive. Get the mail. Drive.

Anonymous said...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,1808314,00.html

Just staggering.

Anonymous said...

That is a good article. The problem I have is that I live in the heart of the city- Uptown. You don't get any more centrally located than I am.

So I just went back to Hennepin-Lake, even after vowing that I'd never go there again. It's 6:00 on a Saturday night...so they're open. And since I"m seeing Alejandro Escovedo in a few hours, I decide to get some more Mexican beer. Of course, the two Negra Modelo I already had might have factored into this decision. Anyway, I'm at the checkout and I'm like, do you have any limes? "No, sorry...but Rainbow does." Gee, thanks. I didn't know grocery stores had limes. Then I ask if there are any plans to stay open until 10pm on weekdays "like Hums". What does she say? "Nope. And that's a good thing." I didn't want to get into it with her about Al Gore and all of that so I just left her with "yeah, good for you. Not for anyone else".

Ughhh...I'm really starting to hate that place.

Anonymous said...

i have friends who blissfully shop walmart. i do not.

but i am a blissfully walmarting kinda guy when it comes to cars. i have four. one doesn't run, though, so three, with two others at my availability. i drive to columbus, one hour each way at least once a week. i will soon be driving my new car to columus for the purpose of driving it around a parking lot. i hate me too.