Classical, you are not a good writing soundtrack

I'm not adverse to classical music. I'm really not. I enjoy the masters of classical music. Or at least I respect them. But I'm not about to go home and put on a little Mozart or Bach. It's just not going to happen. At least not more than a couple times a decade.

I seems like classical music must have been some sort of compromise at my favorite coffee shop. Every morning for the past few weeks I've heard nothing else. It doesn't seem like the baristas are choosing their classical carefully either. I'd imagine it's required no more thought than selecting a channel from a subscription service.

On the days that I've forgotten my earbuds I don't stick around long. The music makes me tense. Like it's the soundtrack to some action that should be happening among all the people typing quietly at their laptops. Guy with cookie jumps up and steals the laptop from soy latte girl and bolts for the door, weaving his way through oncoming traffic and bouncing off a beer delivery truck parked across the street. Enter Jack Bauer who repels down from the video store building in an attempt to get the contents of the laptop's hard drive. Now that would be more like it.

There's no such action today, but the soundtrack has changed. We're on a light rock and soul channel. Most of the songs sound only vaguely familiar, but I like it. I'm at ease. I can think.

Again, nothing against classical music. If I lived 300 years ago and had the means, I'm sure I would have dug it as I dipped my quill in my ink. Oh wait, that's right. There was no prerecorded music back then. No wonder it doesn't work.